Digital footprints and existing forever on the internet.

Sorry to all zero of my readers that this next post has taken so long. I simply forgot.

In my last post I spoke about Undertale, Deltarune and Homestuck and the effect that each of them have had on me. All of that (and I suppose my first post was too) to set up what I wanted to talk about here.

I want to live eternally through the internet. The internet is such a wild place in the modern day. While the most popular sites at the moment are owned and controlled by massive media conglomerates there still exists a areas dedicated to individuality and creativity known as "The Indie Web". Although I assume if you are reading this you must know about that already. I do not expect anyone to ever find these posts outside of me directly pointing people towards them, which I refuse to do. However if by some act of god you have found this site by your own means I salute you. Though it may appear that I am getting heavily off-topic I can assure you that I am not. There's a thing that happens when a person becomes popular enough to sprout an online fandom that I am very interested in. Their entire online presence is combed through for glimpses into who that person is.

Of course this practice is massively para-social, however I still think it's wonderful in some ways. Being able to learn so much about a person through their scattered digital foot print is incredible. I've always enjoyed looking through a persons past actions online, discovering things they have forgotten about and have left unattended. But what is even more fun is brining up these findings up to the persons face, confronting them with these long forgotten posts and watching their face as it contorts into fear, disgust or even joy. People only ever post online to share, if they only created for themself they would have no need to post it online. But instead they present themself for an audience: showing their creations and practically begging for attention. I think it's comical really. A twisted sort of fate. To let a person know that this thing they posted with the intention of it gaining them attention has managed to do so. Only that attention has come far later than expected, and now it only fills them with dread. Besides, it's not really para-social if you already know the person as a friend, right?

I think the reason that I do this so often is because I would like it to happen to me. A person combing through my digital footprint to learn about me is flattery to me. They wanted to know about me so much that they scrolled down on my little website to find a hyperlink to my digital diary. And they scrolled down the text entries and continue to read. Is that interest in someone not beautiful? Is it not sincere flattery? You were the one that posted it online, was this not what you wanted? Attention? I know for a fact that's what I want. If you've reached the point of reading my "digital diary" and have chosen not to look away I am certain that you have no choice but to agree with me here.

If you are reading this then you are the person this was written for. I posted this online for you to read. To impact you in some way, to stick in your memory. I want people to care when I die. I want them to comb through my digital footprint and learn as much about me as they can. That would be fantastic.

Though, in practice I would rather this happen when I am alive rather than dead. Afterall, what's the point of learning so much about someone if you can't share your understanding of their past to their face?

I think in reality I just really want attention. I think everyone does really, but that's beside the point. I want people to care about me and the things that I create so much that they are willing to comb through my past online in order to predict what I'll do next. It doesn't even need to be "people" even just one person would do, that would be wonderful enough for me. I plan on making a "digital sketchbook" at some point. A collection of everything I have ever drawn and saved digitally, posted to a website for people to look through. In the hopes that maybe one day someone will look through and grow attached to the characters I have been drawing for years. Grow attached to something I have created. Is that too much to ask for?


I think my next post will be more about me as a person. At least in the way that I see myself.